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Archive for May, 2009

momma 5/19/2009

sometimes, i think, gosh i wish you were here… it was mother’s day and you weren’t even here… i love you and i miss you so much… things are so good for me right now and i know you would love things that are happening in my life that i so much wish you could be a part of…

you would love him momma, i know you would… his family is wonderful and uplifting and helpful!  you would love my church, they are people just like you, funny, sweet, accepting, giving, you would love it… i’ve been missing lately and i know it bothers them but they don’t trouble me with it… hopefully they trust in me to know i’m just going through some changes… things will settle down… i still believe… my relationship with God hasn’t changed….

so many times lately i think, gosh you would love it… you would love my big tub in this huge house that you didn’t get to see… we take bubble baths daily… you would love my crazy puppy dog that no matter what loves me… i have dog hair everywhere… i completely understand now… it’s not so gross now that i have my puppy… i see

i truly hope and pray that somehow, someway, i will carry on your traditions no matter how busy i get… i will remember what i find the most important… family… i’ve been going through these boxes (something i have not been able to do since i took care of you) and it’s not so bad… i don’t cry anymore momma…. not like before… it’s almost been three years and i’m finally okay with things… still can’t sleep though… i don’t think that will ever change… i think it was our late night talks… i keep em up with Tori… i’m sure her school appreciates that… :)

we’ve been keeping in touch with Grams… she’s coming out here soon to visit…. i can’t WAIT!  we’re going to take her to the animal farm and the rose garden and all the places we used to go… i miss you all the time…

i know you won’t see this but i had to write to tell you how very much i miss my best friend… how very much i want to share these things i’m going through with you… i wish every day that you had come and lived with me… but i thank God for your ‘great escape’… it couldn’t have happened more perfectly…

Categories: myspace

am i really this lucky?? luck has nothing to do with it! :) 05/19/2009

he is the light at the end of my day…
the last man i’ll ever kiss…
he is the sweetest person in the world…
the last man i’ll ever miss…
he is always honest, he could never lie…
he cares for me unconditionally…
he is exactly where i need to be and want….

i love him, differently than ever before…
i don’t dream that we might stay together forever….
i know it… since day one, i’ve never doubted…
i can’t believe that i’m so lucky to have him in my life…

i woke up this morning thinking…. gosh i’m really doing what i said i’d never do… i said ‘i will never move for a guy’ and here i am thinking… without a shred of indecision, this is exactly what i need to do…. i want to be closer…. i want us to take our time, do things with perfect timing… this year, is my year…

tori and josh are accepting of a move that i never thought they would be… i found a home for my puppy…. i got out of my difficult lease…. i’ve actually sorted through some of my boxes (a HUGE feat for me)… i’ve started my own business and am able to keep us afloat amazingly enough… i’ve met some wonderful ladies in some of my networking groups that truly care about me!

maybe having a family isn’t necessarily what i always thought it was… maybe it’s not repairing the broken but adjusting with life and accepting the new… maybe that’s what has been holding me back all along…. i am definitely excited and infatuated with my new life!!!  God has been so good to me this year!!!

Categories: myspace
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