Home > my life > I miss him… I really do

I miss him… I really do

I miss him. I’ve thought about it a lot lately. When thinking about what I want and need in this next chapter. Again I’m changing everything. I’m sacrificing it all for a better financial position. To get past this mess I’ve created. To afford to live a little.

What could I possibly miss? The dinners together that we cooked. The meals we shared with friends. The drive-in that I’ve only shared with you. That I can’t even enjoy anymore. Our daily 5 mile runs. Our shows we watched only together. Snuggling in bed. The world stopping when you’re around. The way you included my son in every aspect of our life without hesitation. The way you just stepped in for me financially knowing I’d always payback my debt. You never even questioned me about it. You had faith in me. Our camping adventures that I’ll never forget. And now I don’t even want to camp with anyone else. But you already have. You’ve camped. You’ve taken girls to the drive-in. You’ve replaced our memories.
I miss our road trips. Even the dirt bike trips with lily.

But I don’t miss you. I miss the things we did; the memories we made. The support that I felt.

I miss the feelings that I had. It was probably hands down the closest I’ve ever felt to being with who I need in my life.

I’m searching for something more…. I hope I find it soon.

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