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Alone. Lacking direction.

September 7, 2013 Leave a comment

Then there she sits. Alone. The usual. Her new life. It’s not what she wanted. She’s solo. All of the time. No real girlfriends. Nothing. Her two dogs. Her TV. And social media. That’s her ‘adult, kidfree’ life.

Happy? Satisfying? No. Not even a little bit. It’s depressing really. She isn’t taking care of anything. How do people live like this? I’m definitely not meant to be alone this much. It’s not me. I’m better shared. I’m sad. I’m heartbroken. Still. Again. I’m lost. I’m alone. I’m pressured financially still. Again. I want to run away. I don’t even know where to. I want to make it better. I’ve given up. How can I fix this? Yeah I know I’m never home. I know I spend too much time with him. It’s horrible. I’m not even really that lonely. I just lack direction, companionship, etc. I just don’t have anyone in my life that’s really available to me. So I kill time with him. My valuable precious time. Today I listened to him talking to others. We don’t even talk. At all. What am I doing? I need so much more than this.
I’m supposed to have moved. But I haven yet. I’m too broke, depressed, worried. I need to. I know it’ll be better than this. This is bad for me. I can’t sit here another weekend. I can’t do anything. I don’t want to.

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Categories: my life Tags: , , ,
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