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Archive for February, 2016

Rock me. 

February 23, 2016 Leave a comment

As I sit here. With my gourmet fries. (That put my mouth aflame. Feeling out of sorts. Feeling less than great. Feeling less confident than usual. But I threw on my heels. Typical me.  Put pants on. Downed a glass of red wine. Skipped the makeup. Skipped the hair. To spend time listening to him. With all of these old and young greats. Listening to him beat away at the drums. Listening to the sax. Enjoying these moments completely. 

Tomorrow is more this and that. More complexity. But this evening. This is easy. This is me. Him and I.  And I love it. 

 

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Categories: my life

What if. I actually said what was on my mind. 

February 5, 2016 Leave a comment

What if I actually shared every thought. What would actually happen. 

I’d say I love you more often.

I’d open my mouth instead of thinking first. 

I’d sometimes probably regret it. 

But mostly I’d probably more be speaking my truth. A constant battle for me. 

It’s hard to be honest on every single thought. I mean, who even wants me to share every thought. Who even needs to hear it. Sometimes it’s better to filter out your thoughts. I think it gives people the idea that it’s more genuine when you don’t say it all of the time.  

What if I actually mean it all of the time. What if I just really thinking the most loving thoughts nonstop. 

I’d be blessed. I’d be happy. And I am. I’ve had so many years of hurt and despair. Here I sit completely fulfilled in every aspect of my life. There are times that I feel afraid to share my bliss. I feel like maybe I shouldn’t be sharing all of these great moments all of the time. I feel like it might be hurtful to people going through times like the former me….

What a shame to fear to speak.  

Categories: my life
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