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guest appearance on another blog… i’m in… well, maybe soon. http://mssinglemama.com/

September 27, 2012 Leave a comment

she said it. be positive… be engaging. i can do that. i’m a champ. i want to tell people all of the great things that i’ve learned being a single mom. you know what i’m in the best place i can possibly be positioned right this second.  i can do this.

me… yes, me. i’ve repaired things with him. exactly what i need and want. i’m working on getting my teenager on track at school. we have a real plan. and it will work. it will take time. i have to work hard to get him to stay on course. i can do this. my daughter… you know i’m struggling with that. we’ve always been very close but letting her live her life on her own… i’ll tell you… it’s not easy. it’s not easy watching her make mistakes and try to learn how to be responsible. i’ve given her the tools to work with… it’s hard watching her not use them. but i’m doing it. i’m getting it all figured out. i’m letting her do this on her own. i don’t want to… not a single bit… but i’m supportive. i love her. i’m there like i need to be.

the best thing about being a single mom for me… and the worst. i get to make all of the decisions. i’m the go-to person for my family. i love that i don’t have to ‘agree’. i don’t have to ‘compromise’. i don’t have to do anything someone else’s way. it’s nice. i mean, don’t get me wrong… i’d LOVE a partner. i really would. i need one. i need someone to hold my hand through this.

i may have found him. he’s really great. sure, we’ve had some problems. i’ve aired them when i probably shouldn’t have. but overall, he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. he includes my son at dinners with his friends and plays video games with him. he talks to him. he makes sure that i’m around. he knows that i’m a lil tricky… you can’t always just ask me to do stuff… you have to include me. you have to make sure i’m involved. i’m busy… i stay really busy. so, he says, do you want to go running after work with me today. after that, let’s go to the store to grab a few things for dinner. he knows… that’s the only way to keep me out of my normal routine of just doing my thing. he makes sure i’m around. because he has to. because he wants to. because he loves me.

he’s good for me… and he’s good to me. he keeps me grounded. he pushes me, gently. i’m a little bit of a hard person to agree with every now and again… he never gets me to that point. we’re only six months in… but i’m telling you… he’s the closest thing i’ve ever had to perfect. he’s never really struggled but he gets it. he doesn’t judge my decisions. he saves me when i need it, without a single hesitation. financially, i do my own thing but he always catches my falls without any questions. if i need it, he’ll deliver… no matter what. he won’t hound me. he won’t be critical of me. he just lets me take care of things. he gives me advice on my children when i ask. he doesn’t force me. that would never work for me… but you’d be surprised at the people that you bring into your life that expect you to take their advice. and make sure you hear their opinion.

he has a great family. they’ve stayed married, his parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. they live close to each other. they do things together. they’re inviting. they’re welcoming. i love them.

i’m a strong girl. i’ve been doing this for a while. i know that i can handle almost anything this situation throws my way… sometimes, i doubt my own ability… so i write. i write because it helps me at home. i get it out… the frustration, the worry, the bad days. i get them out here. so that i can go home to my family. rejuvenated, ready, a little bit relaxed. it doesn’t always work. teens have a way of really pushing your buttons.

my son is smart, insightful, caring, etc. he’s a wonderful child. he’s always taking care of me. he gets to be a child for sure. at home, he’s my little gentleman. i’m working on getting him ‘trained’ to be a solid man. and every single second, he’s always good to me. getting his schoolwork on track, not so much. we’re definitely working on that… sometimes i think working in the wrong direction… but definitely working on it.

being a single mom… not easy. i wouldn’t wish it on anyone. but… i’m happy with the me that i’ve become and all that i’ve overcome.

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